I feel like I can’t breathe. And I don’t want to distract from it coz it feels like a good thing that I can feel. So much anger and resentment around Judaism. And, I’ve always been wanting to feel. To feel anything. So in some sense this is w good thing. It’s just the worst timing for I can’t ask anyone for help dealing with it. And it feels like too much.
I feel such hatred towards those who talk about judaism. And yet I also can’t stand people putting ultra orthodoxy down when what they’re saying just isn’t true.
I wish I could cry. And I’m just feeling so alone.
Will writing help me let it go?
They think it’s rules.
How long your hair is
How long your skirt is
When you should talk
When you should be quiet
They’re missing out on the love
They think you can’t ask
Because they don’t know the answers
Do what us said
Just don’t think
They’re missing out on understanding (and knowledge in actuality underpins Judaism).
They think you shouldn’t be
Just follow the path
They think it’s black and white
All colour is wrong
They’re missing out on the colours!
They taught me I was wrong
When I was right
They took away my trust
They took away my faith
They’re missing out on innocence
They think there’s only one path
Don’t stray, don’t deviate
They can’t see any possibility
If any other way
They’re missing out on choice
They think people who leave
Myst be hurting ir hurt
Never seeing that they
May have pushed them there
They’re missing out on love
They use words
Don’t understand what they mean
They think if you follow the meaning without the words
You’re bound for hell
They’re missing out on freedom
Why do I let
Their beliefs hurt me
Let them think I’m going to help
Let them care not about me but only about religion
Let them.live their life of narrowness
A life of words without knowledge
They take a path that was meant to help you connect and break away from the source they’re heading to following just the boundaries not knowing which boundaries are real and which aren’t.
I wish I could let it go
Pity them instead
For living within confines
Without truth, connection or reality.
Some live with the truth
Just don’t believe there could be another way
Just coz to me it’s a prison
Doesn’t mean it isn’t freedom for them
Because it hurt me
Doesn’t make it hurt them
Their path can be different to mine
Just as I wish they’d be able to accept mine
I have to accept and appreciate theirs
Even if they hurt me.