BDE

Baruch dayan ha-emet. Blessed is a judge of truth. Funny how I’m okay with the Hebrew words, and appreciate the meaning and depth of them when I hate the culture I grew up in and don’t count myself as religious at all.

Blessed. As in honoured. As in known. There is truth and justice. The source and energy behind the world knew that the energy of my uncle was better off not in the world that we see. The energy is there. My uncles energy is still here. His consciousness. Not his body. Now more connected to the energy of infinity.
It doesn’t hurt because it hurts (too much for it to hurt just yet). There is just nothing to say. Nothing to write. So I’m not going to try. It’s just being. With completely not knowing what to do with myself.

My father will be sitting for a week. A few months ago he did for his eldest sister. I miss Aunt B. It hurts to see her number on my phone. I want to live in their honour. And I don’t want my father to have to sit a third time.

I never knew Uncle A. In a sense I’m actually grateful for that. I knew his daughters a tad but not much.

BDE. There is truth. There is justice. We’re living connected to a source and part of it. That’s what those words mean to me.

Laters.

16 thoughts on “BDE

  1. sorry you didn’t know your family, that is sad but your sense of loss is still strong coz you are so sensitive … your poor father!

    You need to live for all of us, find your way back precious ❀

    Liked by 2 people

  2. One of the girls/nieces I have been supporting for her education calls me Uncle A!
    So true about energies and consciousness Eliza. Life beyond the physical is more real and we can at times connect with it so well.
    You hardly knew this uncle and still feel such empathy – it is divine. Two years back I had the privilege to look after an uncle of mine, who was single. I am glad I was with him in his last days.
    And incidentally my wife came in a dream yesterday night. I am sure she is shining her light some place.
    Stay blessed my friend. Love is all there is. God is both – Law and Love πŸ’•

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I have stated similar things to kate and mother before but for now I will ask you to take in what they are saying. They are right. Please continue especially when it’s hard. Thank you for being you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you. You’ve been on my mind as well. Getting further and further behind on reading too. It is my want for you that you are doing good today and better every day even if incrementally.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I know. That’s okay…
        When you’ve time I’d love to hear how you are doing. Until then just sending hugs.
        I’m here. That says everything ….

        Like

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